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What Made Me Laugh Today
- Thread starter Slinger
- Start date
howardc1951
Member
Four ladies, who'd been friends for years, decide to go out for a meal to celebrate being 40. They decide to go to the Ocean View restaurant because the waiters are young and flirty. To celebrate being 50 they decide to go to the Ocean View because the chef is amazing. When they're 60 they choose the Ocean View because the wine list is excellent. At 70 they choose the Ocean View because it's comfortable and quiet and the view is relaxing. When they're 80 they choose the Ocean View because they haven't been there before.
howardc1951
Member
Any pets? Yes a goldfish. Hobbies? Yes he likes swimming.
It's piddling down in N.Wales (but less hot). After walking the dog & drying him down under the porch a neighbour passed by on her way to work.
"It's St Swithin's day today. If it rains on St Swithin's day it will rain for 40 days and 40 nights".
I looked to the sky and said 'well firk him, do your worst'. We both laughed in defiance, or most probably in the hope it didn't actually come to fruition.
Probably an auld folk tale to remember him by, rather than his 'religious exploits'.
* It's now stopped raining.
en.wikipedia.org
"It's St Swithin's day today. If it rains on St Swithin's day it will rain for 40 days and 40 nights".
I looked to the sky and said 'well firk him, do your worst'. We both laughed in defiance, or most probably in the hope it didn't actually come to fruition.
Probably an auld folk tale to remember him by, rather than his 'religious exploits'.
* It's now stopped raining.
Swithun - Wikipedia
Last edited:
howardc1951
Member
Since switching from an early morning coffee to orange juice I've felt much better. My doctor says it's the vitamin c and natural ingredients. Personally I think it's the vodka.
howardc1951
Member
I went for a job interview with FedEx and arrived late. I apologised and explained that I'd got lost. They not only gave me a job they made me regional manager.
howardc1951
Member
A dog walks into a butcher's shop carrying a small bag which he puts on the counter. The butcher opens it to find a note asking for 2 pork chops and some money. He puts the chops in the bag and takes out the right money. The dog leaves and the butcher amazed quickly locks the shop and starts to follow the dog. The dog walks down the road to the bus stop, looks at the timetable and sits on the seat. When a bus arrives the dog walks to the front, looks at the number and returns to the seat. When the next bus arrives he walks to the front, checks the number, gets on the bus, gives the driver his bag and the driver takes out the money and puts his ticket in the bag. The dog then sits on a seat and looks out the window during the journey. After 4 stops the dog rings the bell and gets off the bus followed by the butcher. The dog walks down a number of roads until it comes to a house where he walks up the path, stands on his hind legs and rings the bell and waits. When no one comes he rings again. When no one still comes he walks down the side of the house, barks loudly and then goes back to the front door and waits. The door opens and a man starts shouting at the dog. "Don't shout at him" says the butcher, "he's a genius". "Genius my foot. That's the second time this week he's forgotten his key!"